“I am a living testiment to the success of the Practioners Health Matters Programme directed by Dr Ide Delargy. If you are struggling, I want you to read my story please because there is hope…Picture this scene:

A middle aged female doctor hanging herself in a blacked out bathroom in a rehab unit. There was no light left in her life. Moments before the Abyss she used her coral lipstick to write to her loved ones – “I love you and I’m sorry”.

She deliberately did not take her librium scheduled that evening as she wanted to be clear minded, to bear witness to her suffering of shame and feel the pain, asking God for forgiveness because she became an addict to morphine. Cyclimorph injections became her rescue in treating chronic pain and bowel issues, but very quickly engulfed her soul like a demons fire.

“What kind of a skum bag was she?” she thought. Abandon all that was good in her life to be eased by the next opiate high which really only lasted 10 minutes and left so many side effects. She truly felt that she deserved to die. Eyeballs engorged, carotids bursting in her ears…no air…she prayed it would be over soon.

Suddenly the shower rail snapped, she landed thethered to the detached rail piece, half asphyxiated she figured only a small amount of leverage was all that was needed her her head and waited. For some unknown reason other than Divine Intervention, her consciousness snapped and the image of her dead mother helped her to unravel the 6 knots in darkness while wanting to gulp for air.

Panic stricken she understood now what happens when distressed people change their minds in taking their own lives and it becomes too late! Shaking and obviously distorted, she finally cried for Help. The alarm was sounded and she woke up to a new reality.

What she learned in that locked in unit was how badly affected the mind becomes. She herself was euphoric for having a second chance at living with no obvious neurological consequences while she watched agitated patients all around her suffering in their own way.

Her family had not known where she was until the crisis happened. In their eyes she had been perfect, she did not want them to see her broken, now in shoes where laces were not allowed. When they came, she felt their anguish, shock and unconditional love.

After a few weeks in hospital, she was given a roadmap to her recovery which involved regular visits to Dr Ide Delargy, regular random drug testing and visits to her GP, weekly counselling with a highly experienced addiction counsellor, follow up with a psychiatrist and supportive meetings with 2 members of the medical council health committee. She was making the lifestyle changes needed for her health and mindful of her responsibilities towards her family and patients.

Unfortunately her work colleague of 4 years saw this as a business opportunity for himself and through vicious bullying he stole her practice of 16 years and staff. He also complained her to the medical council. When the first complaint was thrown out, he sent in another complaint. All designed to break her spirit again. Thankfully it was seen as vindictive but the process of interrogation did knock her confidence badly because it coincided with the tragic death of her step sister and her partner leaving.

There was natural grief and hurt, so many negative emotions and a broken heart but all the way throughout she found Hope in how Dr Ide steered her in the right direction with practical ways of coping as a doctor under severe stress.

Today she walks in the forrest with warm yellow sunshine in her heart feeling a deep gratitude for the Balance that now exists in her life. Her medical practice is a success again as people appreciate her holistic approach. Her children are happy and doing well in their chosen career paths and she is now friends with their father again.

Most of all she is no longer lonely as she has a few very good friends and interests. She enjoys adventures with her father and stepmother and relishes in the special relationship they share and her brothers recognise her as being the same girl they knew, their older sister perfect because she is not perfect!”